Everything's Going to Be All Right

I went to the lake lastnight, as I used to in my youth with a pad of paper and a pen, to collect my thoughts, cry, and talk to God. I used to have the luxury of having my parents private beach to do this at, but this time I had to use the public beach. I probably looked like a lunatic, or just what I am... I woman in mourning. The sunset was magnificently apropriate. The water in front of me was soft waves of purple and pink. The sun a ball of amazing red-orange. And the sky... wow. I wish I had the vocabulary to describe it properly. It was everything I needed it to be except maybe private.
At least I can say that now. I am a woman in mourning. Mourning the loss of my baby. A baby I will never know... until I reach heaven, hopefully a long, long, long time from now. I just hope I will recognize him or her and that he or she will tell me that I did nothing to cause his or her death.
I still don't know exactly what to say, except that everything is going to be all right. Time will heal my wounds. I still have my beautiful Josie and a loving husband. And I'm sure I will have more healthy babies... well, hopefully at least just one more. I'll probably break-down and have a good cry every now and then. But everything is going to be all right. I'll probably still put my hand to my womb every now and then and wonder if I did something to cause my baby harm... but everything is going to be all right.
Now if I could just get that darned Naughty By Nature song out of my head...