Forced Alone Time

I don't know what to do with myself. I have so many options, but none of them are appealing. For some reason I feel the need to call someone... to make plans. But I know I shouldn't. I should enjoy this day, alone for the first time since before my daughter was born. But it's so (whining) haaaaard. When you've had another human being around for over a year and then they're gone, it's hard. In preparation for Rob and I's l'il vacation in a few weeks my mother has kidnapped my child to see if she can hack it with her for the weekend. Just in case something goes badly awry, I'm here to rescue her. Unlike October 4-8 when Rob and I are out of the country. And Rob is working all day at the dealership, then is being forced (haha) to work an event at the House of Blues this evening for Scion. So, what's a girl to do? I tried to pick up a shift at the restaurant where I'm now working once a week, but no one wants to give it up. Ho hum. What happened to the independent girl I once was? Now I'm Mommy. Now I'm needed and needy. Funny. I'm resisting the temptation to call my girlfriends and see if I can schlep around with them for the evening. I need this time. I need to enjoy this time. Right now I'm in the middle of mopping Josie's room on my hands & knees after I've pulled all of her furniture out. Can't do that when she's around. As you can see, progress has come to halt.

I have a tone of my favorite movies and a few new ones to watch. I have yard work that goes neglected when the child is around to do. Why, I could even take an uninterrupted bubble bath. But do I want to do any of that? Nooooo. I'd rather look for companionship for the evening. Ugh. I used to be independent. Now I'm just needed and needy.